


Post Traumatic Snap Disorder

by RikuKingdomHearts3



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-23 04:03:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19143193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RikuKingdomHearts3/pseuds/RikuKingdomHearts3
Summary: Simple things can seem much more to others. Scars and memories are left behind, engrained in someone's mind forever. Even is one of these people with secrets that scarred his mind. He only hopes that no one finds out.





	Post Traumatic Snap Disorder

**Author's Note:**

> Time for a new oneshot!! This time based on a comic by Tumblr artist ohhicas!! Be sure to check out their art!

Time had passed since Xehanort's defeat, and everyone was slowing and finally moving along with their life. Though for some there was still some adjusting that was hard to get use to. Everyone had their fair share of struggles and hardship to work though. It was harder for some than others, though everyone kept pushing through their more relaxed daily lives.

But most people kept these issues to themselves. No reason to worry or bother others over their problems. It was just something they would deal with on their own. No problem there. After all it was only minor things from the past that would still occasionally try to bother them. But nothing they couldn't hid from the others… as far as they figured.

Even was one who had his thoughts sorted like this. While he had hauntings they still loomed deep in his head, he saw no reason at all to bring it up to anyone. He was a recompleted adult man. Why would he have to tell such embarrassing or unsettlingly thoughts and feelings to the rest? It wasn't in his mindset to think that way. He was a scientist. He didn't need to dwell in such meaningless memories.

But he couldn't hid from them forever.

Sooner or later it would finally catch up to him.

He only kept hoping that day would never come.

* * *

The sun shimmered over the castle at Radiant Garden. It was a warm sunny day, perfect for an enjoyable day outside. And that was in fact what everyone choose to do. With such a wonderful day, no one wanted to pass it up staying indoors.

Everyone was outside except for Even. He still stayed indoors, typing away at the main computer. He still had so much to work on. There was many new discoveries and research to keep him occupied for hours. 

Eventually he could hear the footsteps of someone entering the room. He took a side glance to see who it was, and saw the familiar bluish-grey hair. He actually stopped his typing on the computer and fully looked at the young man.

Ienzo. The young man who Even saw as his son, stood before him, with a peaceful smile across his face.

"Even, everyone else is already outside. You should come join us," Ienzo said as he walked closer, taking a glance at the computer that was filled with data. "Honestly I think you may be overworking yourself."

"Don't be absurd. I know my own limits and I am far from them," Even stated. "Besides these files need to be finished and sorted. So I figured to get them done now rather than pushing off the work."

"But everyone else is already taking the day off. Master Ansem is going to be out there soon with everyone. And Roxas, Xion, and Isa even went out to Twilight Town to bring everyone some sea salt ice cream," Ienzo replied as he moved his eyes more towards the ground. His expression waved slightly as he sighed.

"I don't know Ienzo. Please I think I would prefer to-" Even had started to say, but Ienzo was quick to cut him off.

"You're the only one still inside working… I know how you feel about research but… I feel you have been doing far too much of it. Is it really more important than spending time with others? More important now than me?"

Even pursed his lips as he took in Ienzo's expression. He already knew he had hurt the boy on the inside for a whole back when he rejoined the Organization. He had only done it to infiltrate the group, he never had any true evil intentions… but Ienzo had not known that then. He only knew at first that Even rejoined the Organization and that was it. But afterwards, once Even had explained himself, Ienzo seemed to lighten up more about it. But Even could still see sadness in the young man's eyes time to time.

To Ienzo he saw one of the men who was his father figure leave again. He had felt abandoned and betrayed. And being recently re-completed only made his emotions rise more from that. Even knew that his goal was to atone, and for the most part he had. There was still a few rough patches to fix up though.

 Even walked away from his work at the computer and stood in front of Ienzo. He placed a hand on top of Ienzo's head, causing his attention to return to looking up.

"I do suppose I may have been working too much as of late. If you think I need some fresh air, then perhaps you are right."

Iezno's smile returned to him, glad that he was able to get through Even. "Great! And if you want we can discuss the work you've been compiling. I do know the contents of course and I'm sure you are ready to disclose some of the new findings right?"

Even chuckled happily before walking back to his computer to shut it off for the time being. After that, the two scientists started to walk towards the doors. "But of course!" Even replied, happy to talk.

Even began to talk about what he had accomplished earlier in the day. He was glad that Ienzo had taken after him in the pursuit of science. It made things easier when wanting to go into a full scientific explanation.

The two reached the doors and pushed them open, letting the outside light stream in quickly. Even squinted momentarily, not expecting it to be as bright as it was. But it then occurred to him it was nearly the high point of summer, making the bright and warm sunlight warranted.

Outside Even could see several others, walking around and conversing. Aeleus was walking around at the moment, seemingly checking the gardens, while Dilian stood with Lea and Naminè, the three of them deep in conversation.

"Looks like Roxas and the others aren't back with the ice cream yet. Shouldn't be too much longer at least," Ienzo commented as they headed down the stairs.

Even nodded in agreement as they made it to the center area of the gardens. The two of them decided to stay in their own conversation for the time being, though they did near the other group so they could eventually join with them.

While Ienzo and Even had their science talk, Dilian, Lea, and Naminè were having a more causal talk. They hadn't even noticed that Ienzo and Even had come outside. They had been discussing various different topics, but recently it had gotten to something that made Lea raise an eyebrow.

"You never learned how to snap?" He asked looking at the young blonde.

Naminè shook her head averting her eyes slightly. "No, they never taught me much in the castle…"

"Yeah I wonder whose fault that is," Dilian added with a slight sarcastic tone.

Lea raised up his hands in defense. "Hey! Okay okay. Doesn't matter about back then though. I can teach you now if you want Naminè."

Naminè clasped her hands, giving a happy smile. "Yay! Thanks Axel."

"You're welcome. Now the first thing to know is that it's a but hard to get a first. You may get it better on one hand than the other. What you wanna do is this; place your middle finger on your thumb with the other fingers resting here."

Lea held out his hand as he showed the potion of his fingers. "Then it's all just a quick movement like this."

**_Snap_ **

The sound of the snap seemed to echo loudly and slowly as soon as it happened. The simplest sound of the fingers clicking together resonated loud enough that Even heard it.

And that was all it took.

Without warning Even felt tension rise inside of him. The sound had set every warning signal in his head and he only knew he had to try to do something; defend and protect. He hadn't even realized that while summoning his shield in one hand, his other reached to the side to grab Ienzo.

Pulling the boy behind him seemed to be a immediate reaction as he couldn't take the moment too actually look. It was all instinct and reflex in a matter of seconds.

His eyes focused forward, full of fear and panic, as ice started to case around and in front of him. Once the ice reached up about half way on his shield, he finally stopped.

The ice may have stopped, but Even's heart still pounded. He couldn't budge an inch as his eyes remained trapped staring forward. But even then, he wasn't looking at anything. Memories were flashing across his eyes as the sound of the snap repeatedly bounced around in his head.

He didn't even realize that with his reaction, everyone had stopped what they were doing and turned to stare. He couldn't bother to pay attention to them though.

His mind still raced vigorously as he tried to process what had happened. But everything still was jumbled and a mess inside his mind.

He swore that he could feel fire prickling his skin. Slowly rising up his arms, trying to engulf him. He swore he felt the heat radiating around him, daring to destroy him again. He feared any moment the fire would come through, bursting through his body, leading him to his end.

Despite feeling like the fire was consuming him, he stayed frozen as board. He didn't flinch or shift a single inch. Though while staying still, he could hear voices. Voices of the others around him. Those who had seen his reaction still stared with wide and concerning eyes.

"Even?"

"Even?!"

"Hey man, are you-"

"Even?"

He started to tune the voices out as his heart rate increased. He could not shake the utter fear in his eyes and everyone could clearly see it.

Hair felt in front of his face and he huffed heavily, still not moving. He couldn't even find a way to do so. His entire body was locked up and the key was lost somewhere he didn't know.

Images of fire danced across his eyes again each time he closed them, making him more weary to blink again. Every moment that past he could see it more and more in his eyes.

He was remembering the event vividly.

The pled filled with fear for his own life.

The unsettling twisting feeling in his stomach as he stared at his end.

The horrible sound of fingers snapping.

One single snap and heat consumed his body.

The heat of fire and flames.

The bursting flames from within him.

Mere seconds of burning without warning.

The agonizing pain.

And then nothing.

There was nothing after that cruel, tortuous and instantaneous death. Not until he reawoke as his Somebody  But none of that mattered now. All that Even knew right now was that it felt like he was burning up. He could feel bits of sweat streak down his forehead and cheeks as he continued to remain still.

If he had been more aware of his situation, he would have thought it ironic. He was sweating, feeling like he was about to burst into flames once more. But the irony was that his legs and bits of his body were covered in ice.

"Even?" Someone called out to him again.

"Even are you all right?" Another asked.

Finally someone moved in front of Even's, looking at him with a concerned glance. Though Even was still trapped in his haunting memories, he could see the familiar face of Ienzo.

The young man kept looking at him, analyzing Even and trying to figure out why his father figure had reacted so suddenly. He could tell that something was clearly wrong, something had disturbed Even causing him to flip out.

"Even…" he whispered quietly. "Can you hear me? Is everything okay?"

Even blinked a few times, trying his hardest to come back into focus. He saw the young man standing in front of him, and all his concern from the boy surfaced over everything else.

"I-I'm… fine. But…" Even said between exasperated breaths.

He took the moment to unsummon his shield, causing him to lose a sturdy stance on his balance, and reached forward towards Ienzo. He placed his hands down on Ienzo's shoulders, checking him carefully. Fearful that if he wasn't the one to burst to flames, Ienzo might be. And Even was too afraid to deal with that loss. He didn't want to fail to protect the boy again.

"Wh-What matters… is… are you okay?" Even finally managed to ask.

Ienzo could see that Even was clearly not fine. He could see the sweat that streaked down Even's quickly paling face, giving a clear indication he was unwell. He could even feel Even's hands trembling as they rested on his shoulder. It seemed he was growing worse by the moment.

"No, you are the one that needs to be looked at. You are clearly under far more stress than I expected. We should get you inside to rest," Ienzo said, hoping Even would listen and not be too difficult.

The ice around Even slowly cracked and crumbled away as he continued to stare at Ienzo. Once the ice was gone, so was the rest of any strength or balance Even had. His legs felt weak and he could no longer support his own. He dropped down to his knees as he let out another series of pants and deep, shaky breaths. Along with Even feeling weaker, he could feel a uneasy twist in his stomach, but with the state he was in, he couldn't process anything to tell anyone.

Iezno tried his best to support Even to keep him from completely falling over, but hs could see Even was slowly growing worse by the minute. Each passing second left him more shaken and pale than before.

Iezno turned and looked to those around him. His eyes quickly focused on Aeleus first. He only needed to give a worried glance to his friend and the tall man nodded, stepping forward to help Even to his feet.

As soon as Even was upright,the world only seemed to spin more around him. But he could at least understand that he was still breathing. He was still alive. Though it only spurred more concern within him. It still bothered him that last time he had heard such a simple sound… it had ended his life.

Literally with the snap of someone's fingers his life had ended right then and there. It almost sounded absurd to be afraid of such a sound, Even was at least processing that much as he felt himself being carried back into the castle. But nonetheless there was a fear of it that had been etched into his mind.

He never thought it would ever be brought up though. It seemed like such a pathetic and irrational thing to torment him. But no one would ever understand Even on the matter. It was something only he would be able to understand.

Except maybe for one person. But Even was in no state to think about that possibility.

* * *

Ienzo and Aeleus had headed inside with Even, but everyone else stayed behind. They could only stare as they had just watched the strange event play out before then. No one quite understood why Even had rather spastically acted out. Except Lea was starting to figure it out the longer he thought on it. 

When Lea had seen the terrified expression on Even's face, he knew he had only seen it once before. Only one time did he ever see that man show such fear… and Lea was the cause of that fear. Technically it was when he was his Nobody: Axel and Even was Vexen, but it was still the same in the end. Though Lea was trying to move on now being a Somebody again, there was still plenty things of the past that lingered in his mind.

How ruthless and cold he use to be before meeting Roxas was something he couldn't just forget. It was a change in his Nobody's life. A change for the better, but there was those deeds he had done before all that. Back at Castle Oblivion showed the worst in him probably. How he acted towards everyone… and how he had a direct hand in axing off two Organization members.

Ienzo never seemed to state anything on the subject matter and looked fine. Lea figured either Ienzo didn't care about the past or didn't remember it. Either way he could go about his day perfectly fine. From that, Lea never thought to question or ask about it. He thought the same for Even… until now.

A sickened twist tightened in his stomach as he came to a realization. At first Lea didn't understand the freak out. But then something clicked in his mind… though he wished it hadn't. He saw now that by the simple act of snapping his fingers again, he had triggered something in Even. Lea only could assume that event had left his scarred and traumatized. It made sense of course. To have someone snap their fingers to cause you to burst into flames would probably scare anyone. Lea just didn't know if Even had remembered it… but now he knew all too well.

The twisting in his stomach continued, making him feel worse than ever. He looked around to see that Namine and Dilian still looking off at the castle, both debating if they show follow to check up on Even.

Lea quietly cleared his throat, not sure if his voice would reveal how upset he felt. "I… I'm going to go see… see if Roxas and everyone is back."

Without waiting for a response he turned quickly on his heels and walked away. Despite being outside he swore he felt walls closing in on him. His actions catching up to him and trying to drown him in guilt. He had traumatized someone from just snapping his fingers. He started to fear if there was more than just that and if Ienzo was also hiding fears as well. Lea's mind began to race as he got further from the castle, hoping the air would eventually clear his head.

* * *

Back in the castle Aeleus and Ienzo brought Even to his room. The adult man still remained quiet and his hands still trembled. Adding onto that Ienzo swore that Even's temperature was rising. He wasn't sure what was the cause of it, but he was determined to find out. To see his father figure so afraid and completely full of terror was not something he expected to see. 

They made it back to Even's room and Aeleus laid him down on the bed. Even closed his eyes slowly trying to take in slow, deep breaths, but after a few seconds his breathing would pick up and his eyes would shoot open.

Ienzo narrowed his eyes as he tried to understand. But he could not figure out what caused Even to spiral downward. Slowly he kneeled beside the bed and placed a hand on Even's forehead. It still felt warmer than usually so he had Aeleus get a cool, damp towel.

Once he placed it on Even's forehead, he finally looked like he was calming down and becoming more relaxed. It took a few moments but finally Even's breathing had completely steadied out. He swallowed slowly before turning to look, seeing Ienzo staring long and hard at him.

Aeleus took this time to step out of the room to give the two sometime to talk. After a moment of silence, Ienzo finally decided to speak up, seeing as Even wasn't going to start the conversation off.

"What happened back there?" Iezno knew not to dance around the question. It was better to jump directly into it rather than trying to wiggle his way to it.

"What do you mean?" Even asked, half pretending he didn't know.

Now that he was becoming more aware of the event, he less he wanted to keep thinking about it. He felt completely embarrassed by it. Humiliated and disgraced by something so dumb and pointless. Having to explain it to someone would only make himself feel worse about it.

Having to admit that he was scared of someone snapping? Ridiculous.

Having to explain that not only is he afraid of burning, but even the site of fire makes him feel uneasy? Absurd.

It all seemed far too foolish. He didn't want to worry Ienzo any further. Though he knew that Ienzo would most likely persist. It would take some convincing to get him to leave the case.

"You seemed to have some form of a panic attack out there. What I want to know is why. Why did that happen?"

There was the persistent that Even expected. He k we the boy all too well. But even with that he had to find a way to get away from it, even if it kept lying and hiding things from him.

"It's nothing. Nothing to worry about."

"I would not call what happened out there as 'nothing'. It's clear that there is in fact a _something_ to this. Why are you trying to avoid it?"

"Avoid it? That is not it at all. I am only telling you how I feel on the matter. If I feel that it is nothing that we need to dwell on, then that should be it."

Even really did hate lying to Ienzo. He didn't want to keep anything from him… but this was a most sensitive and personal matter. One he did not wish to disclose to others. Though everyone had seen his reaction… it was too late to act look and nonchalant about it. But if he could get everyone to drop it… then maybe he could go back to only having himself to worry about it. He saw no reason for others to know of his burdens and concerns.

Ienzo narrowed his eyes once more. Trying to read into the expression of Even. He hoped to see something or anything that could help him better understand, but it was far too hard to read. Ienzo quickly realized that he would not be getting the answers he wanted.

With the slightly heaviness in his heart he stood back up. "I would advise you to rest for a while at least. Is there anything I could bring for me?"

"No that isn't necessary Ienzo. Thank you for your concern though, but I will be back on my feet a again soon enough."

Ienzo frowned slightly, hoping that all of it was not caused by too much stress. But he didn't know what else to say in the moment. It was clear Even was clearly hiding something… but who was he to judge? He himself hid his own fears from everyone. Maybe one day though… one day they would be able to talk things though and understand one another… like it was years ago before they became Nobodies. That would be a nice hopeful thought to keep.

**Author's Note:**

> I did not intend for it to get that long. But I just rambled it and all oh my phone too! So who for that. Thanks for reading though!


End file.
